Have you ever heard of the truism jokes are half meant? If you have, do you believe in it? If you have not, then now, you have read of it and maybe if you read on, you’d be able to think of a joke of your own which could be half or full-meant. Excess Weight and Body Fats?
I gathered some of the most popular jokes on health and fitness over the Internet and after laughing about them, I thought maybe I could tell something that would prove that these jokes were born out of the sometimes painful and bitter realities of life.
Excess Weight and Body Fats?
It would really be nice to have a slim and really fit body but not everybody is blessed with such. There are some people, no matter how much food they take, including calories, fats, and all, who never gain weight or grow fat. But to those who are blessed with tons of excesses in fats and weight, trimming down is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Especially if exercise and dieting are alien terms for them, this humorous analysis of how the human body was arranged is just the right Indian diet chart for diabetic patient
I don’t exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes He would have put them up higher on my body.
Sometimes, in the lowest point of your weight-loss campaign wherein only your weight doesn’t go down and the rest, most especially your ego, has dropped down beyond the base, you find ways to console your ultra-bruised and dying ego. And one is to consider that every shape is accepted in society:
And then there is the matter of aging. To some, the question is: why change the course of time? A person’s age adds up and along with the increase of the age is the gradual decline of the body. It is just a normal process. Why put pressure on yourself and your failing body? Age, time and fats are ganging up on you, three to one:
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat have become such inseparably good friends.
To choose whether to follow what you think or what you feel is another difficult task. It is an honorable and praiseworthy thought of working to get into shape. But, what would you do if the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?
And then there are some people whose form of exercise is sharpening their wits. They could utter one-liner wisecracks that could make it to the funniest sitcom on TV:
The only exercise you get is jumping to conclusions.
And who said that only the adults are having a hard time being friendly with exercising? Take a trip to a school PE schedule and you might be surprised to hear some outrageous quips coming from the tots that you think are advocates of physical fitness:
Excess Weight and Body Fats?
My gym teacher told me to touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?”
Excuses are the most popular forms of escape from the campaign towards getting fit and healthy. Here are some excuses that you may have sheepishly used once, twice or maybe more than thrice:
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
Chocolate is a vegetable. How do you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
And there’s just the hardheaded approach, the I-really-don’t-care-whether-Im-fat-or-slim attitude that you may pronounce as a hopeless case. Its actually very easy to tell, once you hear this line, its it:
Excess Weight and Body Fats?
I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
Getting fit and staying healthy is not a laughable matter or is it? One thing sure is that it isnt an easy task. It involves determination, hard work and some light moments on the side. After all, laughing for a long period can help shake those excess fats off. And even the doctors agree it’s the world’s best medicine.
Weight Loss Strategies
If you want any weight loss program to work you have to perform “Strength Training”. It’s absolutely imperative during the course of a lifetime not only for weight loss goals but also for general health and well-being.
For years we have been told to diet the excess fat from our bodies and throw in some fast walking to hasten the process. The trouble with this is that the low-calorie restricted diet would throw the body into starvation mode, with the body
holding onto the fat and using precious lean muscle tissue for energy.
This would “Lower Your Metabolism” causing greater muscle loss and once the diet was broken the original fat returned, and you would have a greater chance of gaining even more fat.
“A Vicious Cycle”
Eventually, your body would become used to the diet and then you will reach a point where nothing was happening.
So what do you do now?
Try weight loss supplements, creams, massage, toning tables, drugs. You should know by now that these don’t work.
There is a better way, it’s simply…
Many studies are showing that Strength Training is a superior method for weight loss.
(Ladies, you won’t bulk up by using weights, you don’t have the testosterone to get big and muscular, so don’t worry).
If you don’t incorporate Strength Training into your weight loss program then look forward to “disappointing results”.
The days of strength training three to five days a week in the gym, an hour at a time are long gone. That just doesn’t work. One short strength-training workout a week done at home or in the gym will melt away more fat than you would have ever thought possible.
Fats, Figures and Cardio Work
We’ve already found out that by increasing the functional muscle on your body, you increase your resting metabolic rate. Due to the HIGHER metabolic rate you can now eat MORE calories, which means that you won’t need to starve anymore to lose weight.
In a sense, fewer calories have to be cut back from our daily intake of food and successful dieting (provided that you eat the right foods) will become more likely.
As far as Fats are concerned, they’re burned from the body when cells oxidize to release energy in the form of exercise. When exercise is done slowly to moderately for 20 to 30 minutes, then the majority of energy is TAKEN from the fat stores.
It’s important to understand that the loss of fat comes from fat cells ALL OVER the body, NOT just from one or more specific areas. Therefore, fat reduction of a certain area is not generally possible.
The best exercise for the purpose of fat loss is fast walking either indoors on the treadmill or outdoors. Walk until you are mildly puffing and hold that rate for the allotted time.
If your cardio activities leave you panting or breathless ~ you are going too hard. Your energy will be then coming from your carbohydrate reserves and not from your fat stores.
Nutrition For Weight Loss
Small frequent meals should be consumed during the day each containing a little protein to maintain muscle and energy levels. Foods with vital vitamin and mineral supplements should also be taken on a daily basis.
By decreasing the amount of calories you eat per day to the weight loss amount, you should start losing weight. Don’t go any lower and check the mirror regularly to judge your progress.
If you don’t have an accurate idea of how many calories your consuming a day, how will you know whether you’re overeating or not?
Another word about diets… They’ll send the body into starvation mode; a survival mechanism from long ago when humans faced periods of famine. Cutting back on your calories too low will cause the body to lower its metabolic rate, which reduces
its ability to burn fat.
At the same time, hunger signals increase and we quickly start to crave high-energy foods loaded with fats and sugar. The same foods we are trying to do without.
Here are some great eating tips for you to consider:
Reduce both obvious and hidden fats.
Record food intake to identify problem areas.
Be aware of times when you over eat.
Avoid severe food restriction.
Monitor body fat levels, not weight.
Aim for moderate fat loss (one pound per week)